Tuesday, September 23, 2008

If I Were Thinner, I'd Have a Taller Face

I just looked at my visitor stats and discovered that, during the past three days, I've had a huge (compared to my "normal") number of people visit this blog. But they don't comment. Maybe they don't like what they see. Maybe they don't like me.

Maybe they think I'm charismatic and dangerous. Maybe they think I've gone bat-shit nutso and need to be watched to keep me from hurting other bloggers when I throw blogsplats all over the Internet. Or maybe they work for the government and are collecting data for use in the arraignment.

It could be they heard that I was on the verge of something and came to see...only to find that I'm actually off the verge of not much and there's nothing on which to focus.

It's entirely possible they stumbled across the blog and scrambled as fast as they could to leave. But there are some who come back over and over and over. And they scare me and make me consider curling into a little ball in the corner. But I can't do that, because "little" is something I'm not, though I would like to be. And "ball," well that's just not appropriate for mixed-up companies. "Corner," though, is sometimes how I feel, but with a "d" added on. That's much like "cage," but also with a "d" added on. As in a lion.

I've heard people talk about someone being like a "caged lion." But I've never heard anyone described "like a caged muskrat." And I wonder why that is.

But back to the issue at hand. There are these people, see, who are looking in on me. And I think that's great, except they don't say anything to me.

Maybe they don't want to embarrass me by saying something like, "Hey, I stopped by your blog and I found it irrelevant and a waste of my time. I kept coming back, hoping it would get better, but it just doesn't. Frankly, it's a piece of whale caca and shouldn't be allowed on the Internet tubes. Why don't you put us out of our misery by breaking your fingers?"

That would be OK. I don't mind being embarrassed in that way. A way I don't want to be embarrassed by would be for someone to stop by the blog and say "I saw you eating leftovers from several tables in a fast-food restaurant last night and I captured it on video and now it's on YouTube.com and your life as a compulsive eater of half-eaten fast-food meals left by strangers is on public view for everyone to see." Fortunately, no one has left such a message. Which goes to my point. People tend not to leave messages. Except for Nicole and Kathy and Teresa and, on rare occasion, Ellie and Phil. But they're not the ones who visit and leave unannounced.

But, ultimately, it's your decision. If you don't want to leave messages, comments, or accusations, I'll just have to live with it. After all, there's nothing much I can do to force you to say rude and unflattering things to me.


Anonymous said...

Whale caca? Really?

Hey, don't break your fingers. Just keep on, you know, um, keeping on. Okay. Sorry! that's absurd! But you know what I mean. Hang in there. Your blog is a whack job, to be sure, but an interesting one........

(um, muskrats?)

YourFireAnt said...

Maybe their mothers told them: If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. As mine did. Not that I heeded her until YEARS later. But still.

Yours is one of the few blogs that I never know what I'll find there.

Keep doing it. Us muskrats love you.


bee said...

i don't get this 'lurkoid' behaviour. i get a lot of commenters saying "i've been reading your blog for a long time and this is my first comment"

why are you telling me that? am i supposed to stand up and applaud? a blog is an interactive forum. that makes it more than a website, and i really don't understand why regular readers expect all the communication top be one-way. how does it hurt to foster or participate in a discussion?

maybe i'm too entitled.

Anonymous said...

"Maybe they think I've gone bat-shit nutso and need to be watched to keep me from hurting other bloggers when I throw blogsplats all over the Internet."

Bingo. And we thought things would be different here.

Anonymous said...

P.S. I'll update my blogroll when I remember how to do it.

Kathy Rogers said...

Cure = don't check your stats. I only look at mine now and then to see if there are any hilarious searches bringing people to my blog. Sadly, there rarely are.

I also probably lurk on more blogs than I comment on. Which, when you think about it, explains why I never get anything done.

Springer Kneeblood said...

All reasonable responses. Thanks.

Nicole said...

I get anything between 50-150 visitors on my blog each day and only a few that I know leave comments regularly. Some people comment every few months, some each week, some even less frequently... it all depends. But, the majority don't say anything. Even though I wish they would because I'm very interested in people, where they come from, what their story may be, how do they live, what do they do, which country do they live in, what kind of food do they eat... all those things, but mostly they don't say anything and I don't take that as being bad or insulting because I pass people on the street all the time and they don't say anything when they see me either. A lot of people treat it like being out in public and they don't say anything because they just don't know you.

Don't take it to heart. A lot of people just have nothing decent to say and so it's perhaps better they just keep looking.