Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Fat Pacifists

The knee-in-the-balls, knife-in-the-gut season has started. This year, in a twist, we're going to engage in vivisection and hysterectomies with only pigskin between the teeth as anesthesia.

Ellie is planning to go to Mexico when things get ugly. BB plans an insurrection which will lead to succession of the northern states. I'm planning on getting out of Dodge, too, and may join the successionist movement that BB will lead. But to prepare for all of this, I'm going to have to suspend my sense of morality for awhile.

In advance of this utter collapse of modern greed-based democracy, I'll need some serious money. Which means, of course, I'll need to engage in some big-money robbery, probably including banks, casinos, and gas stations, auto dealerships, and Republican dinner parties. Of course my booty will have a limited life-span, due to the direction of the insurrection, but I'll have a hell of a time in the interim.

Since I'll be suspending my morality for awhile, I figure this will be the perfect time to engage in my life-long interest in high-stakes blood-letting. Translate that into I'll be killin' a passle of people who need killin'. So, nasty politicians, rude waiters, and toll-booth collectors, beware. I'm kidding, of course. Of course.

God damn McCain. God damn Obama. God damn elections. Where the hell is Buddha when you need a nice, fat pacifist?

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