Thursday, November 26, 2009


Who makes money off of Thanksgiving? I want to know. Could the turkey-farmer lobby be this strong? Could they actually shape our consciences and mold our emotions? Or is it the goddamn pumpkin farmers who clean up thanks to...Thanksgiving? Maybe the condiment contingent is responsible for this most obscene holiday.

It's no coincidence that Thanksgiving and Christmas both fall near the end of the year, just in time for our wallets to be sucked dry by people looking for contributions just before the end of the tax year. Key-riced! It's the whole damn not-for-profit sector that staged this little opportunity for eyes to moisten and tears to fall!

The fact that so many people take a look inward and contemplate changing their selfish ways this time of year is just happenstance. It's all about the money. Don't let the tears of thanks from the homeless who've just been fed fool you. Don't let the smiles on the faces of kids who've just had their first full meal in a month trick you into believing it all matters.

What do you think we are, stupid?


bev said...

Thanksgiving provides a last ditch opportunity for the pumpkin farmers to get rid of all of the runty reject pumpkins they couldn't sell at Hallowe'en.

YourFireAnt said...

OK, Springer, now go get yourself a g.d. glass of wine and CHILL.


Springer Kneeblood said...

Maybe I hid my tongue too deeply in my cheek...