Sunday, April 12, 2009

Crippled Rabbits and Soon-to-be-Crippled Dell Computers

Today is Easter. This is, of course, highly important to me because I dream of becoming a practicing magician who pulls rabbits out of his hat. Until then, I can be satisfied with Easter in other, simpler ways. Like viewing the Easter card my wife sent to her sister.

On the card is an artistic image of a little girl, perhaps 5 years old, her back to the card-viewer. Sitting next to her is her cat. The little girl is saying aloud, "I hope the Easter Bunny has lots of chocolate Easter eggs for me." The cat's thoughts are shown in a little voice-bubble over his head: "I hope he has a limp."

Yesterday was "It's Appropriate to Hate Dell Computers Day." It became "It's Appropriate to Hate Dell Computers Day" when I logged into my account to check into why my notebook computer had not arrived (I ordered it almost a month ago). When I logged on, I discovered that the order had been cancelled on March 20. This is the second order that was cancelled on me without any emails, no phone calls, nothing. The first cancelled order, a flat-screen monitor that was on sale, was cancelled for reasons unknown and they refused to give me the sale price if I re-ordered it...I declined. Back to yesterday...

I called Dell's customer service hotline and spoke to at least four people, all of whom were highly apologetic but all of whom assured me I HAD been notified, both by email and by telephone. The reason? "The order was going to be delayed; if it is going to be delayed, we must have your approval, otherwise we will cancel the order. They INSISTED I had received both email and a phone call. I assured them that, no, I had not received any email (I checked while they were on the phone...I have several emails from Dell, including order confirmation and later an estimated shipping date, but no cancellation email). And, of course, if I had spoken with Dell, I am relatively sure I would have remembered it.

Bottom line, Dell apologized and said the only thing that could be done was for me to call when their sales department was open and reorder. How about the sales department call me, I asked? How about putting the onus on them? No, Dell says, they cannot make that happen. Their policies prevent it. I explain to Dell that they can go fuck themselves and, moreover, they can expect me to tell the world about my experience with them. This is the opening volley of what I assure you will become a MASSIVE campaign to encourage the world in joining me in doing all within our power to PUNISH Dell for its abysmal operations and its utter lack of customer service orientation. I think it only appropriate on this day to say that I plan to nail Dell to the cross...and do my best to see to it that it stays there and doesn't come back to try to rip me off again.

While you're at it, forward this link to everyone you know:

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