Thursday, July 29, 2010

Not Fair

Last night and tonight, I've been sitting alone in the house, trying to get used to the temporary state of being alone. My wife went into the hospital yesterday morning for two+ days of observation while a new drug treatment is being tested on her.

This new drug treatment is supposed to change the electrical properties of her heart so that her ICD does not shock her unless she is in serious danger of sudden cardiac death. She's been shocked inappropriately twice as a result of her heart's unusual electrical properties, which causes her heart-beat to speed up dramatically.

It's all scary and I hate it. I want things to be "normal" again. But that's not realistic. Her heart has been troublesome for many years. It's showing its age. So we deal with devices and medications to make it last as long as possible.

I hope we can share a long retirement. I'm afraid neither of us may make it until retirement even begins. And that's not fair at all. That's not part of the plan.

1 comment:

bev said...

I've been busy here at the old house and am just catching up on my reading. Sorry to hear that your wife is in the hospital - I guess this was the scheduled in patient stay.
Yes, I agree, it's not fair. I've been struggling with that for much of the past 3 years, so I can certainly commiserate.
I hope everything gets sorted out and that your wife's medication can be properly adjusted so that she has no further unexpected events.
Take care, bev