There's no question I have the capacity to do the work, regardless of my level of interest or lack thereof. But something is keeping me in a constant state of lethargy with respect to "work" responsibilities. I keep telling myself it's only a few more months, I can stay focused...but then I realize I'm lying to get me off my back.
I can smooth this out. I can be mellow about it and get on to the jobs at hand. But will I? I must.
4 comments:
Sheesh, sounds like you're describing what it is like to be widowed - at least for the first couple of years. With that in mind, my way of dealing with the lethargy and desire to think about anything else but my obligations was to try to compartmenatlize my life into small blocks and do certain tasks within a certain time block, then save another block for my own interests. I also had to keep dangling carrots up ahead. For example, if I fill out all of these death tax and insurance forms by September 30th, I can start packing to run away to Arizona. In many ways, this is about the only way things work to keep me going now - a ridiculous reward system based on promises of traveling to new places. Maybe it is okay to live this way. I dunno. Doesn't really matter as it is the only way to make it all work.
I think Bev's suggestion is also a coping mechanism that I use. Break things down into small doable tasks and just do them one at a time.
Focusing on the here and now is a challenge -- especially when you are chomping at the bit to be doing something else!
Thanks to both of you, Bev and Tara, for the comments and perspectives. You've given me something to think about and, very likely, an approach I can use. You're both wonderful! I'm going to make it my mission to visit both of you during my "respite" from the work world!
Yes, well, I intend to hold you to that and take you out to Poco's for a vegan Mexican dinner! (-:
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