Friday, May 18, 2012

No Reason to Expect More

It has been more than six months since my sabbatical began.  My plans to live the life of a vagabond have been largely derailed by, first, the realities of dealing with bills, lawn care, and the like and, second, the death of my brother-in-law.  But still I have spent these past six-plus months enjoying a life without an 8 to 5 job.

I've spent more time on my one remaining business obligation than I'd like, but far less than I should have done if I want to keep the business alive, much less prosper.  I have come to understand, though, that I have no love for the business, not even a little.  In fact, I have almost no tolerance for it.  I want to be shed of it, though it could be my only financial resource when the inevitable time comes for me to go back to work.  That time is far too soon, I'm afraid.

Several of my projects have been addressed during the past several months, though, including getting some work done on (and doing some work myself on) my house.  But there are way too many projects remaining undone.  I want to get to them, but I want to travel, as well.  When push comes to shove, I think I'll opt to work on the house.  It is, after all, where I spend the bulk of my time.

I feel like I've wasted a big part of the year I planned to reinvent myself.  I want to reignite my entrepreneurial spirit, but I want to relax, too.   As always, life is a series of compromises that sometimes lead to discontent.

But I have oxygen to breathe, water to drink, and shelter.  I have no reason to expect more.

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